Everybody (yee-eah)
Rock Your Body (yee-ah)
Feasel’s Back, alright!

Oh my god, he’s back again. Warlords of Draenor is adding an additional Feasel, and this one is far more insufferable than his relation directly to the left.

Gross.

Like Jeremy, Christoph Von Feasel is located in the Darkmoon Faire, and will fight you in exchange for one of their Darkmoon-branded tokens. Or, at least, his battle pets will fight yours. Here’s the team I used:

Feasel’s first pet, Syd, is a Magic pet with a lot of Aquatic offense. There isn’t a good Magic pet to defend against Syd’s onslaught with enough firepower to beat Syd, so I opted for the Emerald Proto-Whelp. It combines both heals and an avoid with a decent Dragonkin offense. Syd uses Whirlpool on every cooldown now, so I find both heals and avoid to be rather key. The Spawn of Onyxia or Wild Jade Hatchling moveset dragons are a good pick here too.

As said before, Syd will use Whirlpool on every cooldown, so it’s important to use your avoid and your heal when necessary. He will also cast a full-block on hit bubble, so you just need the longevity to burn him down.

Feasel’s next 2 pets are both beasts, but their abilities make each unique. The reason I went with the Tonk is simple: Lock-On. Because of the Direhorn’s incredibly annoying shield, many normal abilities are fully blocked by it, so you can’t just pick whatever mechanicals willy-nilly. Lock-On is an activated ability which hits extremely hard after being primed, so I use those down turns to begin Lock-On and cast a couple of his other abilities, then blast Mr Pointy’s face off in full when his shield wears. There are a few other pets with this ability, or similar ones. Launch Rocket is fairly similar. I also like having Minefield available to make a big dent in the next pet without a ton of effort on my part, but that’s just gravy.

I’m not sure about other battlers, but Mr. Pointy was by far the source of the most cursing on my part.

Christoph’s 3rd pet, Otto the Cow, has a combination of hard-hitting abilities and Feed, which means you want to blitz him down and quick.

Lil Bling, my favorite battle pet of the expansion apparently, is up to the task. Make It Rain and Inflation go together like peanut butter, chocolate, and dessert wine. He also has Extra Plating for extra longevity, which I typically use so that I’m ‘safe’ through the Inflation turns.

After you beat Feasel The Fireworksier, you get a new Darkmoon pet bag. Mine contained the same old standard battle pet & Darkmoon gunk as that other Feasel’s. The new pet Syd The Squid also has a chance to drop, much like the Darkmoon Eye.

But, Christoph Von Feasel isn’t all bad. He may have just given me a new motto: