Tag Archives: critter


It’s that time of year again. For 2 weeks the blog is about to get real incoherent as I get plastered on rich German Beer and don’t really eat anything other than soft pretzels. It’s Brewfest time!

wolpertinger wow world of warcraft pet battle

One of the very first seasonal pets, most veteran players will have a wolpertinger or 5 hanging out in their logs. It’s a critter, and starts off Uncommon, so for most battlers that’s where they’ll stay. He’s a fairly decent pet, though.

To get the Wolpertinger if you don’t have one yet, go to your faction’s Brewfest area, outside of Orgrimmar or Ironforge. There are breadcrumbs in most major cities. I also made a map:

map brewfest wow world of warcraft pet battles

There are 2 ways to get the Wolpertinger. The first way you can also employ to get another holiday pet, the Pink Pachyderm. Every day there are many repeatable quests you can do to  earn holiday currency, as well as a few one-time quests, basically there to show you how to do the dailies. Ram racing, repelling invaders, all kinds of shenanigans.

brewfest token wow world of warcraft pet battles

This currency isn’t a technical ‘currency’ found in your Currency tab, though. It’s an item which takes up bag space. You can use this currency to buy either of the holiday pets, or any number of other vanity items.

brewfest pets wow world of warcraft

The two pets are (clumsily) highlighted here. You might notice the Wolpertinger is quite a bit more expensive than the Pachyderm. Luckily, there’s another method for obtaining that tankard.

wolpertinger quest wow world of warcraft pet battles

You can do this quest with any level character, and it’s relatively simple, though if your cross-realm is rather populated you may want to try & snag it at off-hours, or save it until later in the holiday so there’s less competition for the wild wolpertingers. Unless you fiddle with your video settings, it’s already a difficult quest, since the Synthebrew Goggles make it really hard to see anything. Because you’re drunk. Get it?

brewfest wow world of warcraft pet battles

The wolpertinger itself is a somewhat odd mix of abilities. It’s the only Critter with a strong offensive Dragonkin nuke in Sleeping Gas, though there aren’t a ton of opponents where that combo is particularly useful. Sleeping Gas shares a slot with Fly By, one of the easier to use damage debuffs in the minigame, and this pet can use it starting at a relatively quite low level. He also starts off with the utilitarian critter Scratch.

The Wolpertinger rounds out his moveset with Beast abilities. Rampage is alright if combined with that Fly By debuff, but is fairly mediocre for the 3 round tradeoff. By contrast, Headbutt is fairly stellar, and has a chance to stun. Horn Attack is his last move. It’s an alright move, but the Wolpertinger is relatively slow, making his RNG-unfriendly stun a near impossibility, especially in PVP, where speedy pets are king.

As you level he gets relatively worse and worse, but he’s a very solid choice for an early team.

wolpertinger wow world of warcraft pet battle drunk

Just not early as in, in the morning, as in I really wasn’t kidding about that beer.


black widow hatchling wow warcraft battle pet

I don’t talk a lot about personal stuff on the blog. It’s usually all pet battles all the time over here. But guys. I hate spiders.

No, you guys. like. I HATE spiders. HATE. haaaate.

giantbonespider maexxna wow warcraft battle pets

When I did Maexxna as a healer in Vanilla, I turned my character to the wall so I didn’t have to see her. When I did her in Wrath as a hunter, luckily the rotation had grown so easy I could spam my steady shot macro and close my eyes for most of the fight. I am not even kidding, either about how much I hate spiders or how easy hunters were.

I honestly don’t even know why. I’m cool with bugs and caterpillars. Snakes and lizards, sure. Even scorpions are fine. I’ve always had some kind of garden as far back as I can remember, because my parents were hippies and liked growing their own food, so I know spiders are good for nature and all that jazz. Something about that extra set of legs maybe? The way they move? The webs? I don’t know and I’d prefer not to think it over too hard just now thankyouverymuch.

spider2 pet battles wow warcraft

But there are a couple of reasons for me to explore their creepy little leggy crawly beady eyed oh god this sentence has to be over now. First of all, many of these guys are low-texture, and you know how that tickles my fancy. They were one of the first to be made over, into both a spindly-legged model and a fuzzier tarantula model, and now there are even more varied models to choose from. The low-texture version is also reused for Pandaria with the bizarrely pink Amethyst Spiderling and thus have spanned across expansion packs, so they kinda fill that same role as the frog.

spiderling wow warcraft pet battles

They’re also a fairly decent pet battler across the level gamut, which tends to be rare. They get the Leech Life ability at level 5 to heal themselves, and as a result they’re a hardy choice for grinding. Unlike the Frogs, spiders can have varied movesets. For example, the crystal spider has a stun instead of the DoT poison ability.

crystalspider wow warcraft pet battles

My interest in spiders was piqued when I was dueling with Elepheagle one day. He completely wrecked my Black Claw DoT team with his spider. Rather than demand the answer, “WHYYYY” on my knees from an unanswering sky, I asked wowhead instead.

burningweb wow warcraft battle pets

Brittle Webbing typically inhabits the same slot as the regular old web, only gives quite a bit of reflexive damage on each attack. The damage can be countered by Sandstorm (WHAT CAN’T BE COUNTERED BY SANDSTORM argh) or the Shell Shield-type abilities. I haven’t quite fought enough to recommend it whole hog, but I’m trying out a new team, pairing the spider with a pet with Wild Magic and a third, heavy-hitting tank pet (but not a direhorn… the nerf for 5.4 is pretty bad). If you find yourself coming up against DoT teams I definitely recommend trying out a spider.

spider wow warcraft pet battle

…you know, as much as I *could* recommend trying out a spider. blerg.


Yeah, I know. I already highlighted the frogs and now I’m going for Rabbits, which are just as low texture, though at least these ones have eyes.


The reason I have to highlight these is that they’re fairly key in a lot of both PVE and PVP strategy. They are better at turtling than Turtles. The combination of Dodge and Burrow means that, if conditions are right, your pet will only be hit a couple times after several turns of evasion. Those conditions include your rabbit being a Speed breed, or your opponent being super slow. As discussed in my Breeds post, this can make quite a bit of difference. If you have a Speed breed rabbit, it is one of the fastest pets in the game. If you have a different breed of rabbit, it is still going to be quite fast, but it’s not a lock for evasion the speed breeds are.

And now it’s time for another video, yay! This one pits my S/S rabbit Dill and my H/B rabbit Lennie against the first pet in the Thundering Pandaren Tamer fight. I continue on with the fight with Dill, just in case my acclaimed writeup on the topic wasn’t enough to help you beat him. I get it, different people learn in different ways.

The only rabbit with no available speed breed is the Elfin Rabbit. The Spring Rabbit from the Noblegarden holiday is the Speed breed by default, but you have to burn a Critter token to get them up to Rare quality. They also have, by far, the most amusing idle animation.

Beyond just rabbits, speed is incredibly valuable in PVP. If you get a very speedy pet and your opponent chooses to swap pets, you can frequently make them ‘skip’ turns while swapping. For Rabbits, this not only increases your avoidance right then, but makes you one turn closer to your next Dodge.

Sometimes in pvp, you can practically hear the frustrated shrieks through the monitor at your adorable little ball of fluff and evasion.




This guy and his snaily brethren are some of the better PVE tanks, depending on the rock, paper, scissors of it all.


Or, rock, paper, scissors, slime as the case may be.

So, what makes snails so appealing? They generally can’t die. Not only do they have a shell shield ability, they also have Dive and the damage with return heals ability Absorb. Scooter is only available in the H/H or 6 breed, which means that his health pool at level 25 with a rare upgrade is a whopping 1960, making him one of the very few pets available with over 1900 health.


The only other snail available with the H/H breed is the Shimmershell Snail. The other breeds or other snails are also amazing tanks for sure… ‘get a snail’ is largely interchangeable in the pet community for ‘get a Rapana Whelk’ after all. But health that high even as a novelty is pretty sick in a tank.

An additional strategy would be to combine his Acidic Goo ability, which has a 25% additional damage taken debuff, with his Dive. It’s also possibly a synergy buff to a glass cannon pet like a Fel Flame. This obviously sacrifices a good amount of the snail’s survivability, though. To round out his abilities there’s the 25% chance to stun beast ability Headbutt and Ooze Touch, a no-frills magic nuke.


I personally am not as in lurve with him as some other tamers are. The Undead absorb move he uses to deal damage plus his Critter type makes him take forever to kill Critters and vulnerable to Beasts. That absorb move also deals minimal damage period, so fights with him take forever regardless. But there are certain fights where snails are integral, like my thrilling strategy for the Burning Spirit Tamer. As long as you’re not fighting beasts he’s a pretty good pick.

Some tamers doodle their name with the snail’s the same way I doodle “Ms. Liopleurodon Crab.” I prefer a tank that can’t be felled by an ill-placed salt shaker in favor of one that goes well with butter, I guess. Different strokes!

You get Scooter The Snail from the original Childrens’ Week quest, from either Orphan Matron Nightingale in the Cathedral District of Stormwind or Orphan Matron Battlewail in the Drag (lower level, beneath the inscription trainers) in Orgrimmar. He was added to the original complement of pets in 2011.



Peanut is a cute, unassuming little fellow from Outland. He’ll occasionally stand on his hind legs and let out a little elephant tootle. In function, he’s similar to his Beast type Clefthoof Runt brethren, only just to make things interesting, he’s a critter. Even though he’s just clearly an elephant, the biggest currently living land animal on Earth.


Kay, critter.

Survival is all he has in the way of mitigation, though he does have a stun move. He has a couple buffs moves as well. Combining one of these with the percent damage ability Trample makes him a decent choice against the critter-type Beasts of Fable. A 10% health strike does a proportionally larger amount of damage to their huge health pools (you know, if you don’t want to cheese it like I do with a Nether Faerie Dragon or Cockroach).

Peanut is obtained by doing the Outland Childrens’ Week quest given by Orphan Matron Mercy in Shattrath City.


Mr. Wiggles


Mr. Wiggles has always been a favorite of mine. Back in the day, he’d stay by my side and eat schmutz he found on the floor in Scholomance despite my strident caution that he knock it off because it was probably tainted by the plague. Wiggles don’t care. He just eats what he wants.


Big, bad boss pulls in years were typically accompanied by /say Let’s do this, Wiggles. He was my lucky charm in raiding back when it was only pets, no battles. He also took up a space in my inventory. Uphill in the show! You whippersnapper.

So it’s really oddly fitting for me that he is currently the only attainable pet on US servers with the ability Uncanny Luck. If you’ve been fighting Lucky Yi, the Beast of Fable a stone’s throw from Nishi, you’ll have seen this in action. Because of the nature of this ability, I predict that pet PVP in 5.3 is going to see a bunch of matching up Wiggles with other pets with lower chance to hit abilities, like Moth Balls. Maybe not, I’m pretty terrible at pet pvp.


Beyond that, he’s a fairly standard critter. He has either a critter or undead dps in the first slot, a heal or 50% reduction ability in the second, and Uncanny Luck or a chance to stun with damage in the third. The key though, is going to be using his Luck in synergy with other pets. This will become more evident in 5.3, when chance to hit stuff becomes a part of the standard UI.


You get Mr. WIggles from the original Childrens’ Week quest from either Orphan Matron Nightingale in the Cathedral District of Stormwind or Orphan Matron Battlewail in the Drag (lower level, beneath the inscription trainers) in Orgrimmar.

Perky Pug


The Perky Pug was my very first must-have pet in the battle system. He was my mage’s puppy familiar before pet battles hit, so it made sense that he, along with my old-school raiding mascot Mr. Wiggles (“let’s do this, Wiggles.”), and the novel Terrible Turnip, made up my very first battle team.

There were 2 big issues with using the pug, though. The first, largely cosmetic one, was that WoW wouldn’t let me give him his original proper name, Mr. Rochester. Even removing the honorific, Rochester just wasn’t allowed. I’m guessing because of the ‘chest’ in the middle. So, he became she. Bertha, the sublimated passionate side of the dichotomy of the nature of Victorian women. What? Oh come on, pick up a book once in a while dude.


The second issue was that Bertha, like her namesake, was both ferocious and yet impotent. All perky pugs start off as Uncommon quality. So, although she was really good at fighting pretty much anything out in the world with a choice between 2 strong self-heals and an avoidance ability, she didn’t do so hot in tamer battles once I got past the initial string of quests.

At this point I started building my second team, featuring the Clockwork Gnome, Celestial Dragon and Chuck. I didn’t give up on Bertha because she was still awesome in world battles, but I needed the extra oomph to get past the tamers. it’s smart while you’re starting off to have a stable of 5-6 varied pets & pet types anyway, because there’s always that one ‘up yours buddy’ battle where you have to all but start from scratch.


At long last I found a Critter Upgrade stone, and of course, Bertha was the very first critter on my list to upgrade. She was my first level 25 too, and now she’s very key in my strategy for beating the Thundering Pandaren trainer. Being a critter, she shakes off the stuns no problem, and then she uses her burrow ability and heal to avoid pretty much everything else. She’s still very strong for taming and a favorite to bring out while adventuring in the world.


This is also one of the easier pets to obtain. Right now, it ranks #2 on Guildox on the list of most popular pets. Most people get it almost by mistake. You run LFD, and then after you’ve grouped with 100 people found through LFD, you get an achievement and a pug in the mail. Unfortunately you’re only allowed 1 pug per account, so you can’t have a Bertha and a St. John Rivers and a Grace Poole. Oh come on, it’s classic literature. God. The achievement only counts random people, so if you queue with your tank buddy that run only counts as 3/100.

The only pet which shares the pug’s moveset is the MoP CE pet, the Lucky Quilen Cub. That pet also starts out rare, so if you have one and don’t necessarily want the cutest pet ever, you may want to go with the Cub instead.

But uh, if you should decide to go with the pug, you may want to set aside the cash you’d spend on a CE. Just in case you need your carpets steamed, or something. Just sayin.